War of the Franks


From time to time, a line of demarcation needs to be drawn. When a dispute escalates beyond the point of a simple sit-down resolution, a call for the men and the casting out of the mice is not far behind. When this dispute is about something as all-American as a hot dog everyone has a favorite dog in mind.

Things were calm at TSS Radio on the morning of May 16th. We all knew the competition was today and nobody seemed more anxious than usual. People generally aren’t too anxious about eating hot dogs.

A good hot dog is something that is looked forward to. The toppings, the juices, the questionable meat ingredients. Everything comes together in a tightly linked package and you simply can not lose. What happens, though, when you are given a choice in franks?

Do you go to the hot dog stand in the local home improvement center? This place lives and breathes hot dogs. If not the home improvement center, you can opt for the local “drive-in.” Not technically a drive in, since you have to get out of your car, they don’t show movies, and nobody has wheels strapped to their feet, this place does Chicago food really well and really cheap.

Too long have the employees of TSS Radio argued about where the best hot dog came from and today was the day the dispute would be settled. One of us went to the home improvement center and the other to the drive-in. All the hot dogs were to come with everything on them. With the slender tubes of meat and soft steamed buns in place, we were ready to go.

Bite after contemplative bite, we used every one of our olfactory faculties. The flavors, the textures, the smells…. Everything was going well and before long our plates were empty and our judging receptacles full. As we all sat their in our post-consumption bliss and reflected over the results, It was soon apparent, the home improvement center had much better hot dogs and the drive-in, had much better toppings.


It was a draw.

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